Our older daughter is 8. Her younger brother is autistic and takes up a lot of oxygen in the house — appointments, meltdowns, special foods, the whole picture. She loves him fiercely and also, lately, has started saying things like "why does he always get…" and "nobody ever asks how my day was." She's not wrong, and that's the hard part. What we've started doing: - A protected 30 minutes with her, alone, most days. Phones away. - Naming the unfairness honestly instead of pretending things are e…