The Day My Son Eloped—and the Fear That Stayed With Me

<p><strong><em>Elopement</em></strong> is a word many parents of autistic children know all too well. It refers to an autistic child or adult unexpectedly leaving a safe place or moving away from a caregiver. It is sometimes described as wandering, bolting or running.</p><p>Elopement can happen for many reasons. A child may be drawn toward something interesting, trying to escape an overwhelming situation, seeking a sensory experience or simply following their curiosity without recognizing the danger. Whatever the reason, elopement can place a child at serious risk—particularly near traffic or water—and can be deeply frightening for the entire family.</p><p>My son is six years old now. His tendency to elope began when he was around four, but one frightening incident when he was five remains especially vivid in my memory.</p><p>Two speech therapists had come to our home to assess him. We normally secured our front door with an additional safety lock placed high above his reach. That day, however, our usual routine was interrupted. As the therapists arrived, I was speaking with one while the other entered behind us. We went downstairs for the assessment, and in the busyness of the moment, I did not realize that the additional lock had not been secured.</p><p>When it was time for the therapists to leave, my son ran upstairs ahead of us. By the time we reached the main floor, he had disappeared.</p><p>The open front door told me immediately what had happened.</p><p>My husband was working in the basement at the time. In that moment, it did not even occur to me to stop and tell him what was happening. I reacted entirely on instinct and ran outside without shoes, focused only on finding my son.</p><p>When I reached the road, I saw several vehicles standing still. My heart began to pound. In a matter of seconds, my mind filled with the worst possible thoughts. I felt as though part of me had stopped functioning; all I could do was run and search for my child.</p><p>A man stepped out of the first stopped vehicle and told me that my son had crossed the road and entered a nearby yard. I rushed in that direction and found a woman and a girl carefully staying near him. They appeared to understand that he might run again, so they remained close enough to protect him without frightening him.</p><p>The two speech therapists were also running behind me, trying to help.</p>